[quote=The Relic;35491]1. It's an American magazine that helps foster the cult of personality. I shouldn't assign blame to it for being American, but I do.
I have two copies of Life with Janet Leigh on the cover. Very nice.
2. It depends whether they're real cooks or celebrity chefs. Please specify your terms and don't mention Ainsley Harriot because the very sound of his voice fills me with a deep loathing. Bring back conscription, I say, but just for Harriot.
Have you ever been inside a kitchen? Bloody hell, they're hot!
3. Crocodiles read The Guardian and alligators read The Sun. Fog is mist with A Levels.
I noticed that Van Johnson played a blind man in a film where he is supposed to live in Baker Street, yet the Thames is only a few paces from there. The Americans are very clever.
4. I dunno. Probably Danny Blanchflower or Alf Tupper. Unfair question. You know I detest football.
It was Newcastle and I bet you are kicking yourself.
5. It was his Parmesan cheese. He used the Great Fire as an excuse, but the truth was that he was really fed up of the strong smell that was permeating his house. In the event once the cheese was buried he realised that the stench was coming from his wife, so he dug it up and buried her instead.
ha ha. Don't give me a(nother) hernia.
6. Firstly, Rommel underestimated Monty because he was short and gay. The effect of this knowledge on the morale of straight German troops, who feared a gay Field Marshal whose head was no higher than their belts charging at their trousers, was incalculable. They broke and retreated, while all the gay German troops put their hands in the air and waited with smiles on their faces.
Secondly, Monty planted a rumour among the British troops that Gracie Fields was to visit them. The only way to escape her was to move forward.
I liked it when Monty teamed up with the other Pythons.
7. Because they have shares in Interflora. Capitalism stinks.
I tried to explain to the girlfriend's mum that it wasn't money that was the root of all evil, but the love of money. She had misquoted it. But because she is deaf and not the brightest star in the galaxy she didn't get the point and I gave up. |