Questions for Relic/Sooty - Page 2

Bruv · 02-03-2008, 01:01 PM

I remember a time when all this would have left me confused.......Happy days

Digger · 02-03-2008, 01:10 PM

Here are some for you:

1) Which of the two Defenestrations Of Prague had the most far reaching effects, and do you think we should be seeing similar action taken in modern Europe?

2) If any decade turns out to be better than the 1960s will you feel cheated?

3) How soon is now?

4) What happened in the nanosecond before the Big Bang occurred? Were you there?

5) What is the Eurovision Song Contest for?

6) Where do babies come from?

7) Will you ever succeed in your drive to teach the Americans English

1) I think Everest double glazing created that in order to boost sales. I'd like to be able to see through my neigbour's window, but unfortunately it is frosted.
2) I was gutted when they voted the 1970s as the most influential/best decade musically on BBC3/4 recently. However, it's only down to the opinions of misguided morons so I have come to terms with it. I suppose there could be a decade better than the 60s for Britain, but as long as I am not around to witness it I will be happy. Dead but happy.
3) Now is merely an assemblage of contiguous instants occuring in what we call the present. Soon relates to the immediate future, in the same way that just now relates to the immediate past, so in that sense the two are unrelated.
4) I haven't witnessed a big bang for some time. The next time I do, not only will the earth move for me, and arguably for her, it will probably move for you 200 miles away too and be at least 8 on the richter scale.
5) It is for about three hours in May.
6) It depends. I came from a misunderstanding between my parents.
7) If I do it will be truly awesome and I will be able to take a well-earned vacation because it's been an emotional roller-coaster trying to educationalise them.

Digger · 02-03-2008, 01:13 PM

Why does that young lady sniff the strawberry before she puts it into her mouth?

Digger · 02-03-2008, 01:23 PM

[quote=The Relic;35491]1. It's an American magazine that helps foster the cult of personality. I shouldn't assign blame to it for being American, but I do.

I have two copies of Life with Janet Leigh on the cover. Very nice.

2. It depends whether they're real cooks or celebrity chefs. Please specify your terms and don't mention Ainsley Harriot because the very sound of his voice fills me with a deep loathing. Bring back conscription, I say, but just for Harriot.

Have you ever been inside a kitchen? Bloody hell, they're hot!

3. Crocodiles read The Guardian and alligators read The Sun. Fog is mist with A Levels.

I noticed that Van Johnson played a blind man in a film where he is supposed to live in Baker Street, yet the Thames is only a few paces from there. The Americans are very clever.

4. I dunno. Probably Danny Blanchflower or Alf Tupper. Unfair question. You know I detest football.

It was Newcastle and I bet you are kicking yourself.

5. It was his Parmesan cheese. He used the Great Fire as an excuse, but the truth was that he was really fed up of the strong smell that was permeating his house. In the event once the cheese was buried he realised that the stench was coming from his wife, so he dug it up and buried her instead.

ha ha. Don't give me a(nother) hernia.

6. Firstly, Rommel underestimated Monty because he was short and gay. The effect of this knowledge on the morale of straight German troops, who feared a gay Field Marshal whose head was no higher than their belts charging at their trousers, was incalculable. They broke and retreated, while all the gay German troops put their hands in the air and waited with smiles on their faces.

Secondly, Monty planted a rumour among the British troops that Gracie Fields was to visit them. The only way to escape her was to move forward.

I liked it when Monty teamed up with the other Pythons.

7. Because they have shares in Interflora. Capitalism stinks.

I tried to explain to the girlfriend's mum that it wasn't money that was the root of all evil, but the love of money. She had misquoted it. But because she is deaf and not the brightest star in the galaxy she didn't get the point and I gave up.

Digger · 02-03-2008, 01:26 PM

Hello Skinny,
I can't get my image to show with my siggy in posts.
And I don't get an email to tell me when somone has posted/replied.
Please tell me what I am doing wrong?
Is it my expectations, my execution or the limitations of the system?!!!!!

Thanks Fatty

Digger · 02-03-2008, 01:29 PM

It tells me I am a junior member.
I find that objectionable, insulting and gratifying at the same time.
What do I have to do to be promoted? Is there some kind of right of passage or inauguration ceremony involving virgins and whipped cream?

Bruv · 02-03-2008, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Digger

It tells me I am a junior member.
I find that objectionable, insulting and gratifying at the same time.
What do I have to do to be promoted? Is there some kind of right of passage or inauguration ceremony involving virgins and whipped cream?

If only......Its all down to Post count.....you are nearly there.

skinny · 02-03-2008, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Digger

Hello Skinny,
I can't get my image to show with my siggy in posts.
And I don't get an email to tell me when somone has posted/replied.
Please tell me what I am doing wrong?
Is it my expectations, my execution or the limitations of the system?!!!!!

Thanks Fatty

I would listen to Bruv if i was you, 'cause i is fick...

and who you calling fatty?

The Relic · 02-03-2008, 06:51 PM

Himself. He was signing it. Digger considers himself to be overweight, though my view of is that as he is a natural body which can also be said to constitute a force of nature, like the Sun and the planets, he exists in his ideal state. Can the Sun be said to be overweight? Can Jupiter? No. Therefore neither can Digger, or Fern Brittan for that matter. Though Fern is really rather gorgeous, and I couldn't possibly say the same about Digger.

Bruv · 02-03-2008, 09:05 PM

Thats Skinny's sense of humour that is............(whoops sorry)
You know ....."Bye, see you later" ...."My names not Later ?"
Git it ?